


i'll see you again, right?

by mnheecore



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Short One Shot, fic is told through handwritten letters uwu, idk how to tag uhh, minglem tho!, other characters are mentioned but i'm lazy, that's all i think??, this is a mess but bear with me, this is my first fic oh no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-12 11:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20563439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnheecore/pseuds/mnheecore
Summary: where hyeongjun debuts without mingyu and he promises that they'll see each other again, someday.-- written through a series of handwritten letters from mingyu to hyeongjun, and vice versa --





	1. i miss you

**Author's Note:**

> hii!! it's my very first fic so please give me some love uwu KJSAKJS i kid, but please do shower me with comments on how i can improve my writing as i hope to write more fics about the beautiful friendships that came out of pdx. anyway!! please enjoy this au and excuse my grammar, english is not my first language. thank youu!!

2019 july 20 22:11

  


hyeongjun-ah.

i don't know why i'm writing you this letter instead of texting you, but i grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper and found myself scribbling away my feelings so here i am, writing to you. don't worry, i don't expect you to write back. 

no. with your busy schedule, now that you've debuted, i'd be lucky if you even hold this letter with all the fanmail you guys get. but no one can stop me from writing to you so i'll just send it no matter. look, what i'm trying to say here is,

i missed you. 

i missed you so damn much, it hurts not to be with you. i had gotten so used to your company that your mere presence completes my day. now i have to go by days where i don't get to be blessed to hear your voice echoing across the room.

i don't get to savor your joyous laughter every time jungmo hyung makes a corny joke. 

i don't get to visit your room whenever and stay there until nightfall. 

i don't get to hold you, cup your pretty little face, and hold your hands.

i don't get to wrap my arms around your waist and never let go. 

i don't get that privilege anymore and it pains me. 

it still pains me because i want the chance to have every day be like that with you. 

it hurts, but i'll get through it.

i'll get through it because i love you. 

i love you so much, junnie, more than you can imagine.

and i am so, so proud of you. of where you are, of what you've achieved. every time that missing feeling creeps in, i tell myself that you're in a good place. that you're achieving your dreams and you're pursuing a career you want. that you're happy, perhaps even happier.

and i can't be that selfish to take that away from you just to be with me.

no.

you deserve everything you have at the moment and more. you've worked hard for your dream and you're having a taste of your success, and i am so so proud of you. i'm contented to be supporting you on the sidelines because i know you deserve every bit of my love. and it's true. you deserve everyone's love and affection. you aren't called nation's baby boy for nothing, junnie. the nation will come clamoring to you, wanting to protect you with all their might. and i'll be right there with them.

and i'm happy with that because i know i don't deserve to be by your side. isn't that the point of produce after all? to find out who deserves to debut and who goes back to their companies, waiting for god knows how long? i know i'm lacking junnie, but i'm still determined. i'm going to meet you again, someday. on a stage, where we're both idols, fulfilling our dreams. as for now, i know my flaws and i'm improving them, i'll be debut ready someday, hyeongjun. so please wait for me. this is not the end of our story. i promise,

i'll see you again. 

  


i love you,  
mingyu hyung 

  


* * *

  
2019 july 27 06:49

  


mingyu hyung.

it really is you. i thought minhee was just messing with me when he said you wrote to me, but here i am, clutching your letter in my left hand, trying to hold back my tears as i write back to you.

ahhh, how should i even begin, hyung?

i miss you too.

i miss you a lot. i miss you just as much as you miss me, maybe even more. it pains me to smile the way i do when i'm not with you. it hurts me to thank the people i love without getting to mention you. it pains me to debut without the assurance that i'll ever be with you again.

it hurts, hyung. i hope you know you're not the only one hurting. 

but can you blame me for it, hyung? 

this was our dream,

and we were so sure of it.

we were at the top of the world, the top of the pyramid.

we thought nothing could ever separate us, not at this point.

i was planning everything with you. and for you not to be with me as i live out our dreams hurts.

because i have long accepted not being able to debut with my labelmates. 

but i never anticipated the heartbreak of leaving you.

it hurts because i get to continue our plans while you wait for so long. i feel so selfish for even reaching my dream, hyung. i want you here with me, i want you beside me when we get our first win, when we go to variety shows, when we do concerts. i want you with me whenever.

i want your smile to be the first thing i see when i open my eyes, your melodious voice, the first thing i hear in the morning. your skin, against mine, our grins mirroring each other's and never seeming to let go. i want to hold your hand, intertwine our fingers together and hide our hands underneath the tables. i want to hear your laugh, oh, your precious laugh, that could liven any room you're in. i want to take care of you the way you take care of me. ah, hyung, i want to be taken care of you.

don't get me wrong, the hyungs take care of me very well, but there's something about your love and attention that's so addicting. god, i don't think you know what it's like to be loved by you. you're a drug, hyung. and i can't seem to ever get enough of you. every moment with you is an ecstasy reimagined and a high i savor every moment of.

so don't think this is the last you'll hear of me. our story does not end here, hyung, i assure you.

we'll meet again, sooner than you think.

and i just can't wait for that day to come. 

i love you too,  
junnie <3 

  



	2. i need you / i'll be there

junnie, 

your pretty handwriting remain reminders of all the things i miss. ahhh, i miss you a lot. the upcoming fanmeet is making me incredibly anxious, but practice never betrayed me, so FIGHTING!! i'm doing good, i'm definitely feeling better. i should be the one to tell you that, to ask you that. 

how have you been?

my fanmeet brings anxiety to my veins but i can't imagine how you feel with your debut nearing every second. 

have you been drinking well? have you been eating healthy? does your company treat you well? tell me all about it, junnie. let me be a counselor for you. i want to be able to make you feel like i'm still there without being there. because i'll always be there for you, remember that, junnie? 

in fact, i have a better idea. 

on the 25th night, on the night of the fanmeet and two nights from your debut, _ let's meet at our place._

same time, same place, same people. 

let's be who we were four months ago:

happy, carefree, naive to the harsh reality of the truth we don't want to face.

let's leave the present behind and be lost in our own world, one last time.

because if being away from you taught me anything, it's that i miss you more than ever. 

if being out and about with sejin hyung and jinhyuk hyung taught me anything, it's that i want to be able to do what they do to you too.

i want to be all close and comfortable with you.

i want to cook for you, see how you like the food i put on the table

i want to sing to you at night, lulling you to sleep as i gaze at you under the night sky, wondering what did i do to deserve in my life.

i want to cuddle you, hold your arms in mine and wake up in the same position.

i can't shake the feeling of missing you and wanting to be with you and being free to be seen by your side with no lingering eyes watching our every move.

you are my sunshine, junnie. you shower me with warmth everyday, and i wilt every moment i am far from you. and now i'm scared that i'll wither completely if i don't get to see you again.

go on a date with me, junnie, just this one night.

let's be selfish for one night, and create memories only you and i know of. 

looking forward to your reply, junnie,

i love you. 

__

_ mingyu hyung._

  


* * *

  
mingyu hyung,

i told you before so i'll tell you again.

_ i never break my promises. _

when i told you i'll be there for you always, i never planned on lying. so yes hyung, i'll be there, at our place.

same place, same time, same people. 

let's be hyeongjun and mingyu together, one last time before we face the crowds.

let's be hyeongjun and mingyu together, before our lives will forever be changed.

before we're pushed back to the reality of our careers.

before we lose communication with one another.

i can always be selfish for you, and you only.

i have already asked seungwoo hyung about it, and he said he can cover for me.

it's funny how they know that this is something i want more in the world. because they're not wrong one bit. 

this one's short, but yes, i'll be there, whenever you ask for me.

i love you, and i'll see you soon.

_hyeongjunnie _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! it's your least favorite writer updating after a day SAKLJSA this was supposed to be a oneshot but i got too lazy to format it so i just divided it to three parts uwu the last chapter will either be posted tomorrow or tonight but rest assured this fic will be done before the week ends! anyway, i hope u enjoyed this really filler chapter and please do wait for the last one! leave comments below!! i want to hear what you think! thank you for reading ^v^


	3. maybe someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they'll meet again, right?

10:01. 

that was their time. 

that was the time when they first met.

that was the time where they'd meet outside the show

that was the time where they'd part dorms, being with each other the whole day.

that was their time.

and hyeongjun was running late.

it took him a long time to sneak out of their dorms without getting caught. he had to excuse himself for the whole night of practices because he wanted to join his hyung tonight, and he was going to be late.

when the car stopped, he immediately paid for the fare and ran. he didn't care if his disguises were too vague, or if his appearance got messed up, what mattered in his head was that he was on time for his ever punctual hyung.

his feet were getting heavier as he neared the park, his eyes darting as he searched for the entrance. he gripped the bento box he prepared for them to share as he neared the gate.

open.

the gate was still open, like it always has been. open, waiting for him to enter the flowery field. open, only for it to close at 10:30, leaving him and his hyung alone. he approached the white arc, the entrance to the desolate sunflower patch. he eyed the grotto in the middle of the field. the white gazebo was well lit, making it easy for him to see the empty space inside the hut.

he checked his watch, 10:01. his mingyu hyung was late. he went all this way, just for him to be late. still, he sat down in the middle of the gazebo, setting the food up in case his hyung comes later. he trusted his hyung to come. he will come, right? of course he would, in the first place, he invited him to go out. he wouldn't bail on him that easily. yes, he'll come, right?

  
  


12:21. at the strike of 12:21, his phone rang, and he rushed out of the park, tears staining his cheeks, and his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

* * *

  


2019 august 28 10:21 

_ mingyu hyung, _

i'll never believe it. and i'll never accept it, hyung. i'm not letting you go. not now, not ever.

you left me without saying a word, so read this letter, and call me, because you're not getting out of my life that fast. how many times do i need to tell you how much you mean to me? how many times do i need to tell you how much i need you?

how many times do i need to tell you how much i love you?

i love you so damn much, it hurts. and just for you to do that to me.

hyung, why? i still have so much love to give, i can't let you leave me. but what can i do when you've already gone? hyung, why didn't you tell me earlier? if you had only told me from the start, i would have known how to act, i should have stopped what i was feeling, how i acted towards you. i could have controlled my emotions for you. you should have just told me, now i live with the consequences of your actions.

but i'm not even blaming you, i understand.

jinhyuk hyung told me. he told me why you didn't do it, he told me everything. he told me all of your reasons but i just can't shake that hurting feeling when i remember. if you had just told me, maybe we wouldn't be where we are now. maybe we both wouldn't hurt. maybe things would have been different. maybe i wouldn't be in this situation where i'm writing to you but never expecting a response.

i want to stop you from going, but everything that has happened happened for a reason, and i'm no god to stop it.

when news of you came out, i was as giddy as a bee finding nectar in a sunflower field. but when everything was clear, i figured that flowers might never bloom in my garden ever again. i should be jittery, you know, having been debuted and all, but here i am, locking junho and minhee out of our room so i can write you my last letter. i love you hyung, so thank you.

thank you, for the memories, the smile, the sweet nothings in our dorm, the gentle touches you'd give me, the small kisses i always treasured. thank you for ever loving me. thank you for making me feel how it is to be loved by you because it's one of the greatest bliss i will never forget. thank you for being with me in my best and in my worst. thank you for being with me for four months and more. we knew each other for so little time but i feel like i've known you all my life. thank you, but this isn't goodbye.

no hyung, you might have already left, but this is not goodbye. i am not moving on from you that easily. so while that was the last time i'll see you, you're still going to be alive in my heart.\\\

maybe we were going too fast. maybe we got too caught up in our own world that we forgot to live in the real one. maybe it was not yet right. but whatever it was, i was thankful for it. im thankful to have met you because you changed me. you changed me for the better. you taught me things i might have never learned from other people. you have changed my life, hyung. you play an important part of who i am, so you're stuck with me, hyung.

i can't help but wish you had told me about the sasaeng, hyung. we could have stayed. you could have arrived at our place. but when i think about it, 

maybe we weren't meant to meet that night, where we were both troubled, because maybe we were meant to meet somewhere else, in a different place, in a different time, as different people, as better people, where we're both happy.

and maybe then, we would stay until the end. 

don't ever run again, hyung. just call me. because maybe you wouldn't be running with tears in your eyes, blind to the busy highway. maybe you wouldn't be running away in fear, unknowing to the car that was heading your direction. don't run again, i can't lose you again.

_but now its too late._

in heaven, i will miss you, hyung, more than i have missed you this past month. but do know that i will never forget you, even if the threads of my hair turn ashen and the feet that stood strong can't carry the burden of my weight. even if everything is blurry and distorted, you will always be my sharpest memory. 

i miss you already, hyung. but you can finally rest now. the only thing left to do is wait for me.

besides, we'll still see each other again, right? 

see you soon,  
hyeongjun. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S IT!! thank you for reading this short oneshot, i hope you enjoyed reading this fic,, i know its not the best, but this prompt kept popping up in my head and i was writing the fic slowly in my head that i had to actually pen it. thank yo to anyone who left a kudos, it really means a lot to me ^v^ i would say minglem never dies but i ltr just killed mingyu,, sTILL, MINGLEM SUPERIOR AND MINGLEM TRUE LOVE,, please leave comments underneath as i'd love to read your feedback and how i can improve in my future fics (if i do post more hHHH) anw, stan x1 and support by9!!! i love uu


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